1/28/2020 7:15:51 PM
Hosting a regular potluck group is not only fun and rewarding (people come to you bearing wonderful friendship and food!), but easier than you might think. Sharing food with our fellow humans is a wonderful and natural way to build the kind of community feeling many of us miss in the anonymity and isolation built into modern ways of living, so replete with devices and garages that we all disappear into.
And doing it on a regular basis makes it even better. We have hosted a potluck of 12-30 people at a time for over 5 years now, as well as put on many parties for groups of professionals attending our seminars for decades. and it has been incredibly rewarding. It has also helped members build a larger network of connections
So, think about it. It can be as simple as inviting 4-6 friends over to share conversation or a favorite film or an interest you have in common, like books or gardens or a plant-based lifestyle. Keep it small to start, unless you a veteran at hosting events. A smaller group also allows people to share in one conversation, which is often a really great way to find common ground and establish group bonds. You could even make in-depth conversations on topics of the day the theme of your group.
Ours started with permaculture and environmental films and discussions. After watching "Cowspiracy: The Sustainability Solution," we morphed overbite into a = potluck. For several years we focussed primarily on videos on how to eat plant-based, but also included topics like reducing plastic, simple living, EMF safety and more. Increasingly, our focus is on discussion.
Here are some tips to help you physically set it up in a sustainable way.
Reusable Partyware
First, unless you already have these things, get yourself a set of thin glass plates or China, and enough drinking glasses and wine glasses from your local thrift store to accommodate the group as it grows and as your space allows. Custard cups make great soup bowls. Reusable party ware saves plastic and other waste, and buying it used eliminates packing and shipping impacts, saves money and reuses resources. I keep ours on handy trays in a bookcase. When it's time for the party, I can readily set them out on the counter where the serving line begins:
A few years ago I also found a batch of 20 or so cloth napkins for a pittance online and have used them now at least 50 times at these events, saving on paper waste and making it all more elegant as well. We wash and line dry them the next day.
The evening or morning before the potluck begins, you will want to clean house, make a list of who has RSVPd, bring out extra tables and chairs (plastic stacking chairs are great), arrange your living room as needed to accommodate your numbers, set your party ware (above) and chill some filtered water, perhaps with cucumber or lemon slices in glass dispensers or pitchers in the fridge. If you are serving tea, wine or other drinks, get that ready too.
For your own food contribution, make a casserole or salad in advance, depending on what others bring and be prepared to provide a simple appetizer if none shows up. (For smaller groups, I suggest clarifying what each one brings in advance, taking the luck part out of the potluck!). Soups are easy to make but can be more complicated to serve and require bowls and spoons not otherwise needed.
Ask people to arrive on time and let them know where to park and where to leave coats, purses and containers when they arrive. We make a space out of the way in the bedroom. Provide name tags if it's a big group and welcome them and their food into the serving area. If you want to allow time to socialize and enjoy appetizers first, try to keep food chilled or warm as much as possible, or at least covered. These days, many people have thermal casserole carriers they use to bring dishes in, or boxes with towels.
Tables can be a challenge. In our case we have two drop-leaf English oak dining tables that, together at maximum extension, can accommodate 14 people. Other potluck hosts use folding plastic tables, or people just find a spot to sit with plates on their laps, at patio tables or what not. Just make sure it's hospitable and that there are enough places for all guests to sit comfortably. Some of my favorite occasions have been when we hold the potluck after a meeting and it's small enough to continue our conversation as one group as we sit around the table. (8-14 people).
Living Room Setup
And that brings us to the living room, where the gathering usually begins and ends. It helps to ring a bell or strike a drum or crystal bowl to get peoples' attention and draw them from the meal and cleanup. If we are showing a film, I have arranged the furniture so that all seats face the TV screen or can easily be swiveled to do so. I provide throw pillows behind each sofa seat, which usually works better for shorter people, and have a stack of plastic chairs on hand to bring out when the film begins. Or sometimes we have just had people bring wooden dining chairs into the viewing space. I always leave a small chair near the TV to introduce the film and then seat myself elsewhere if need be.
For discussions, place the bigger upholstered furniture in a circle with an opening, and if more seats are needed, arrange an outer ring of dining chairs or stackable chairs. I have found that compact plastic stacking chairs, perhaps with pads, deliver a lot of comfort for their size. (We store a stack of 14 in our guest closet). When facilitating discussions, try to find ways to keep a handful of talkers from dominating the discussion, unless it is of wide interest or you have a guest speaker. If this becomes an issue, try passing a timer around the circle like a "talking stick" or just express that now let's hear from someone else, etc.
How Many to Invite?
If your potluck gels, and most likely it will, it will naturally want to grow as people ask if they can invite other friends. Some homes can only accommodate 4-6 and that is your bottom line. Others can take 60 or more. Ours is more like 25. I have often vowed to cap it at a more comfortable, intimate size, like 14-20 but have said OK anyway up to maybe 26. Beyond that, I find it's just too many and it begins to discourage more introverted participants from returning, who are often some of the most interesting people. As it turns out, when it has swelled a bit too high, the universe often trims it back down to 22 or so as people call or email with last minute cancellations.
You will have to feel your way through this one. Perhaps you or another member of your circle needs to start an additional potluck or else do it more often!
Meanwhile, enjoy the process. The more you do it , the easier it gets as you establish your routine. Don't sweat it too much and enjoy how much people appreciate you for creating the community that is often lacking in our lives! It is a real service, and it is also very fun!
AND tasty!!
1/28/2020 5:26:48 PM
Want to have more friends? Especially friends who share positive values for a better world? Want to explore online participatory calendars, spontaneous events and even living closer together with people whose values and qualities you most treasure? Read on.
Recently, I set up a participatory calendar on Meetup.Com called "Conscious Living Sedona." This is a model for strengthening conscious communities which readers in other regions and states may want to consider as well. In our case, we are reaching out to an already-developed network of maybe 150 or more Sedona and Verde Valley residents who have been attending local and regional vegan potlucks. As interest in both veganism and community grows, our 3 major potlucks are getting crowded. And so we ask how can we seed new potlucks? We also wonder how can we develop inclusive ways to invite both new and old friends in our network to spontaneous or regular get-togethers? And might some of us even want to take it further by living near each other for daily contact and support?
To address all these needs, we are offering members access to a shared PARTICIPATORY CALENDAR. What this means is that all approved members of Conscious Living Sedona (who share our values) can post invitations and requests to each other, whether one time or repeating. For example," Anyone for a hike tomorrow?" Or "New Potluck Forming in VOC," or "Let's Garden Together," or maybe you would like to offer a weekly yoga class. You name it.
Want to give it a try? First, read our shared values and decide if they resonate with you. Note that having a value does not mean you are expected to abide by it perfectly (we are human):
OUR SHARED VALUES
• Engaging in a community of loving, friendly people who value living lightly, sustainably, respectfully and kindly on the Earth and with each other.
• Eating healthy whole food plant-based because we see it as the most impactful way to to foster healthy lives, a healthy planet and healthy, compassionate relationships with other sentient beings.
• Living simply, with full respect for the natural world. In addition to eating healthy vegan, as much as we can we seek to reduce wasteful consumption, packaging, fossil fuels, toxics and plastics. As much as possible, we recycle, support clean,renewable energy, eat organic and vegan, and walk, bike, carpool or use other earth-friendly transport.
• Being in service to the wider community and planet. Many of us work to put on the annual Sedona Veg Fest or do educational work online or in person. Most of us have worked in service professions or projects seeking the betterment of others.
• Relating in harmonious, egalitarian, participatory, cooperative and creative ways.
• Practicing some type of open, non-dogmatic spirituality, such as meditation, self-reflection and personal growth in which we come to see ourselves as facets of a much larger awakening of humanity.
Finally, to join this group, you also need to live in the Sedona/Verde Valley area, at least part time!). :-)
Are you a local and good to go? Then ask to join Conscious Living Sedona., and let's meet up! For starters...
HOW TO MEET US:
GOOD "In-Person" GATEWAYS to meet members of this larger network currently include the:
• Quarterly Healthy World Sedona's Sunday Suppers (sign up for newsletter at healthyworldsedona.org, also for info on the annual Sedona Veg Fest). These usually feature a speaker with 50-60 attending at a home on Red Rock Loop.
• 4th Friday Conscious Living Potluck at a home in West Sedona ( on Conscious Living Sedona., holds 22, potluck followed by films and discussions)
• 3rd Sunday Food & Friends Potluck Lunch in West Sedona (posted on If you like them, ask to join Conscious Living Sedona. for 12 committed to regular support and dialogue). Possible hikes before or after.
• 2nd Friday Verde Valley Vegan Meetup (social focus, at a home in Verde Santa Fe, Cornville, AZ.). Sign up here.
HOW TO ADD YOUR OWN INVITATIONS & EVENTS:
Now, get ready for some spontenous jaunts or to start your own dream group of friends from this network. At Meetups.com/ConsciousLivingSedona, go to EVENTS and ADD NEW EVENT. You can limit the size and everyone can see who is coming.
• Just remember, if you sign up, cancel if you change your mind, so others are free to attend. (Note: Let me know as the Organizer, if you have a problem with this.)
START YOUR OWN AFFILIATED VEGAN POTLUCK GROUP?
As our numbers grow and in the interest of less driving, we encourage members of this regional group to start and post additional potlucks in new areas such as Clarkdale/Jerome, Camp Verde and the Village of Oak Creek. The closer to you, the better. For further tips on how to host a potluck, see my blog, "How to Host A Potluck." Here are two approaches you might take:
1. Consistent members, affinity groups of 12-18 who also meet for weekly hikes, meditation or discussions. After initially getting set up, you would likely want to keep your invitations private, by email or phone or agreement at meetings. You might start this with existing friends and friends of friends.
2. Round Robin Groups. Here the focus is on getting to know new people and places by rotating locations and guest lists. In other words, set it up to purposefully encourage different mixes of people each time.
TAKING IT FURTHER: LIVING NEAR EACH OTHER?
Taking it further, we also encourage like-minded people in this network (or any other) who want to enjoy and support each other with greater ease and spontaneity to move closer to each other, ideally in walking distance. Research has shown that the number one predictor of longevity and well being is the degree of social connectedness a person has. And there is no better way to connect readily with people than those in our immediate daily vicinity.
Whether we call them intentional communities, neighborhood villages, coops, clusters or cohousing, such communities have been serve their purpose best when they:
- Are held together by love, generosity, commitment and flexibility, not dogma or a strong leader.
- Have at least 8 but no more than 50 adults
- Are designed to foster spontaneous daily encounters (windows face pathways, people don't drive into garages and disappear)
- Are run by consensus drawing on effective models of communication, often getting outside advice to kickstart this.
- Have a clear, workable and affordable ways to deal with shared costs and for members to join and to leave in a financial sense.
Several physical models for living closer to each other include (in order of difficulty):
1. Form social networks of people who live within a couple of miles, as suggested above.
2. Individuals gradually acquire adjacent or nearby houses with shared backyards, frequent potlucks and other activities, sharing of tools, rides, etc. This model may work best for those who really love their present house and location, and who have developed it with sustainable features. This could also work in a new subdivision where adjacent lots are available (such as Crossroads at Mingus in Clarkdale).
3. A group pools resources, forms a partnership and purchases, redevelops and shares an existing property such as large homes with guest quarters, former retreats, fourplexes, condos or small hotels. Such places could be especially desirable for aging seniors, working families with children, singles or those without the means to buy a solo house.
4. A group gathers and defines their vision and then engages help in planning, finding and purchasing a site and building a Co-Housing Community. (2-5 years?, best with a planning group of 10 or so).There are at least 150 such communities in the US and they typically involve 20-30 households living in private units (either attached or free standing) that share a large common house for frequent meals and gatherings, with parking near the entrance, with people-friendly interior play/ social/garden areas along walkways leading to homes.. For more information see youtube videos on this topic or read: “Creating Cohousing” by McCamant and Durrett, professionals who have guided over 50 groups to successfully creating such communities. A quick search can also lead you to homes for sale in existing cohousing communities throughout the US.
Several of us in this network started meeting in January 2020 to explore Cohousing. We could just let it go, or we may just turn into an affinity group,or we may manifest any of the above scenarios. Please contact me if you are interested. For now, we are limiting the group to a more intimate size of 10 or 12 and are sorting ourselves out as we develop our vision. So far, we are agreed on vegan shared meals, conscious living values and staying in this area at least initially, especially focussing on meeting in West Sedona.
